Today I am in limbo. Not sure where I belong or what i should be doing. I don’t really know if emotionally I should be feeling really excited or really sad. My two worlds that have existed separately over the past 4 years seem to now be colliding. I am leaving a place that once was completely foreign and full of strangers but has become my whole world filled with friends who have become family. People who have shaped this child of God, mama, and wife. I have “grown up” here in the past four years. Learned who I really am and who God has created me to be.
I am going to a place that I once called home, but now seems foreign down to the climate and the whereabouts and how things are. all seems new again but should seem familiar. So excited about the new ministry that we are embarking on. It’s a whole new start in a state that I will “once agAin” call home. But somehow I am still scared. Of finding my place again, fitting I’m again, and not questioning all those things about myself that I have always struggled with. Figuring out how to balance my little family, with my big family and my new start in derek’s ministry. I am spending my last 48 hours in a crazy mix of ending one chapter and beginning another, looking at a house that is completely empty and wondering how this all happened this quickly.
I am in a place where never in my life have I seen the hand of God so clearly….especially in the details. I’ve never felt so blessed beyond measure and so secure in what God has planned for Derek and I.
Just tough to know where you sit. I guess it’s on a fence with your feet touching on the ground on both sides. Or a place where both sides have green grass. Thankful to be leaving a place that I love and going to a place where I know already that there are so many who love us.
Just still hard to know how to feel. I love all of you no matter what my address reads, what roads I drive on, and where my feet hit the dirt. Because the reality is, this earth is temporary, and we have a future in store for us…..beyond what we can imagine when one day we meet our creator. He has changed the place we live, but our purpose is the same.
To serve HIM.
Thank you God for never changing.